Loving Kindness Combo

Inspired by Tulku Thondup with special thanks to Harry Palmer of “Avatar” for Step 2.

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness." - Psalms 51:1.

Background

In our busy worlds, it’s easy to lack in our connection to and compassion for others. In this, we tend to miss the joy that this compassion provides.

This meditation helps in rekindling your natural tendency to connect, love, and care- and it comes with a hidden bonus- a greater sense of compassion for yourself.

How is this so?

Because learning to love your neighbor as yourself is sometimes easier if you start with your neighbor.

Just saying “Okay I'm going to love myself!” can seem daunting.

Starting with your neighbor, however, (especially a relationship you’ve struggled a little with) holds the promise of a secret path back to you.

In other words, as you put your attention on this other person, it’s as if you’re saying… “If I can forgive your weaknesses- if I can hope for your breakthroughs and happiness, if I can love you, maybe I can love me too.” 😘

1. Think of someone you hold resistance toward (this will be your focus, initially)

It can even be someone you love very much but have considerations about- perhaps some judgment or bad feelings at times. Or, as inspired, consider an entire group. For instance, everyone at work, or Democrats, Republicans, or people who drive loud vehicles, etc.

As inspired, you could add more depth to this practice by noticing resistance- usually around your solar plexus, with each phrase. Be present to this and allow it to naturally thin and move out into the space in front of you or around you (away from you). This only takes a second or so. Then go on to the next phrase.

2. With your attention (or focus) on the person (or group) you decided on in Step 1, give place to the following statements:

___________ So, say this person or group’s name, and then…

Just like me, you’ve been seeking happiness in your life.
Just like me, you’ve been trying to avoid suffering.
Just like me, you’ve struggled with feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy.
Just like me, you’ve known sadness, loneliness & despair.
Just like me, you’re anxious to feel a sense of purpose in your life.
Just like me, you’ve struggled to fulfill your needs in a positive, win-win way.
Just like me, you're sometimes afraid of not counting, or of being alone or unloved.
Just like me, you’re learning about life and love- even if it's the hard way sometimes.
Just like me, you’re gaining wisdom and character through the trials and challenges you suffer, the positive habits you’re learning to form, and your willingness to come to yourself and to God, over and over (however this looks for you).

3. With your focus on this same person (or group) you decided on in Step 1, give place to the loving-kindness possibilities below- whichever ones you’re drawn to.

______ So, say this person or group’s name, and then…

May you be happy.
May you feel happy.
May you be safe.
May you feel safe.
May you live with ease (without too much stress).
May you be healthy.
May you have the courage to face what's hard to face.
May you be willing to forgive those you feel hurt by, marginalized, overlooked, or dismissed by.
May you feel the love of your friends.
May you feel the love of your family.
May you feel my love
May you feel the love of your Heavenly Father.
May you forgive yourself for your shortcomings and faults
May you forgive others for their shortcomings and faults.
May you discover what's troubling you or what's hurting and find healing.
May you let go of your need to control everything and everyone (to whatever degree you do).
May you let go of needing to be right, especially when this closes you to possibilities.
May you be blessed to hear and understand others- especially those you don't agree with.
May you find strength to do the hard things- the things that actually lead to what you want and that fulfill your purpose.
May you be calm.
May you be trusting.
May you be focused.
May you be understanding.
May you be connected.
May you be pure.
May you be open.
May you be supportive.
May you be present.

4. Repeat #3, but toward yourself.

May I be happy.
May I feel happy.
May I be safe.
May I feel safe.
May I live with ease (without resistance).
May I be healthy.
May I have the courage to face what's hard to face.
May I be willing to forgive those I’ve felt hurt by, marginalized, overlooked, or dismissed by.
May I feel the love of my friends.
May I feel the love of my family.
May I feel my own love toward myself.
May I feel the love of my Heavenly Father.
May I forgive myself for my shortcomings and faults
May I forgive others for their shortcomings and faults.
May I discover what's troubling me or what's hurting and find healing.
May I let go of my need to control everything and everyone (to whatever degree I do).
May I let go of needing to be right, especially when this closes me to possibilities.
May I be blessed to hear and understand others- especially those I don't agree with.
May I find strength to do the hard things- the things that actually lead to what I want and that fulfill my purpose.

Conclusion

By opening yourself to these possibilities for others (especially people you tend to judge), your own self-judgment seems to thin and you feel more open to these for yourself, hence: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”