Weekly Inventory

A weekly look at what we have and what we may need

The best of captains (like you), even with current maps and up-to-date navigational devices will still need to check their bearings regularly.

This can happen...
a) off the cuff, if trust is high and you feel to just make a request in the moment and/or
b) during Nightly Check-Ins for gentle, consistent guidance and less seismic requests which can create amazing consistency and stability, and
c) during Weekly Inventories, especially for larger, sensitive issues.

Weekly Inventories insure consistency & stability and staying on course.

For Weekly Inventories, pick a regular time i.e. Sunday morning, afternoon etc. Once you build some momentum, these meetings usually only take 10 or 15 minutes. See below for suggested agenda.

Part 1

1) Weekly planning i.e. Family time, date time, church/civic obligations, kids etc.

2) Celebrate what’s been going well i.e. “I think what’s been going well for us is _____.”
Note: Whatever you celebrate expands. Whatever you appreciate, appreciates!

Part 2 is a big deal! According to Mel Robbins, Dr. Dennis Waitley and countless others, when you look for and underscore things that have been going well (even just a little better) your brain will unconsciously screen future events to present you even more evidence. And with more evidence that things are going well, you are more motivated to fan the flames of these new, improved, aspects of your relationship! Is that amazing?!

3) Brief review of current couple agreements ...agreements you’ve made with each other that are easy to forget but important to remember.

Note: Please refer to your “Request List.”

Part 2 (if needed)

Introduce a new request or update a sensitive existing agreement.

1) Enrollment - “There’s something I’d like to cover today. Would that be alright?” This is best done at close proximity, within 6 to 18 inches of each other, chair to chair, face to face.

Once you have the floor (and hopefully, his or her heart), you could do a Peaceful Conversation (a little more open ended) or a Love Seat (very structured)… or, if trust is high and things have been going super well, just make the request and perhaps talk about an agreement i.e.

2) Request & Agreement …including a description of how the agreement might look for you*, or create clarity and, if needed, further solutions on an existing couple agreement and/or…

3) Boundary If needed (and inspired) lovingly explain possible consequences i.e. “If this keeps happening I may have to get some extended time out, and/or do some extra shopping” or whatever your boundary is. Note that explaining boundaries usually happens in a Love Seat. If needed, please do not hesitate to set up a meeting with me (John). Click here to set up an appointment.

4) Check in with each other to make sure you both feel good about what you’ve talked about and the solutions you’ve arrived at. Try to limit Part 2 to no more than 30 minutes. Don’t drown each other in your need to get it your way. If you haven’t reached a solution, that’s O.K.! Come back to it**.

5) Other Spouse's Issue - If there’s time, and if you’re not out of emotional space, you could switch directions and go again, otherwise, get to other spouse’s request next week. Try to keep it to no more than 30 minutes in Part 2.

Notes

*Describing how something might look i.e. “I’d love it if you would do your best to be a little bit more present during dinner. How that could look is that you leave your phone in the bedroom.”

**Coming BACK to an issue. Don’t drill an issue into the ground or drown your spouse in your need to get it your way. There will always be more time to work it out. But work yourself out first. Consider doing some breakthrough work in the meantime.